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Extract Inner Worlds
Introduction
It could
be said that the process of developing a personality, a 'self' begins with
conception and ends with death. Times
of greatest growth and change can be identified such as the early months of
life, and the so called
‘turmoil of adolescence’. ...
But in many ways we go through numerous phases of development and pass the
hurdle of several 'adolescences'.
Understanding
ourselves, getting to know who we really are and communicating that knowledge to
another human being can be a task too great for one lifetime.
... Particularly if the real self is hidden by fear and early experiences
of rejection and abuse.
Those of
us who would work with young people have a double task, we need to understand
ourselves before we can be of use to our patients. We must be in touch with the
hurt child within ourselves so that child can communicate, empathise with
another and help to heal their pain.
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Most
infants experience similar insults to the developing self.
Some unpleasant experiences are inevitable and universal - such as the
expulsion from the womb, separation of the umbilical cord, and sooner or later
weaning from the breast. Many suffer greater emotional or physical assaults, whether
accidental or inflicted. How can we understand why the developing self is often
affected in very different ways by the apparently same event? Why the same early
rejection can bring about very different patterns of disturbance?
Why do
some appear to get off 'scott free'
and undamaged by childhood ordeals while others are grossly traumatised and
damaged by lesser events? Like Eric Berne's story of the twins who were nagged
by their mother that they would end up in the lunatic asylum, and they did - one
as a catatonic Schizophrenic and the other as professor of Psychiatry!
In understanding our patients, it is therefore fitting that we should first
consider the development of the self and look for clues to the above dilemma.
Resolution of the question may be aided by observation of certain patterns of
disturbance and considering why a particular pathway was taken.
It is an unfortunate aspect of our society that many children and young people
are brought up in a world of abuse and violence. How can the result of this
experience be minimised or turned to positive effect?
If
protective or determinant factors exist - can we use them, bring them into play
in helping heal the wounds? Or is our path predestined by an inner immutable
psychological structure? How can we influence the interplay between inner worlds
and outer challenges?
The
classical division of personality types in psychotherapy is into four basic
patterns - the hysterical, depressive, obsessional and schizoid and certain
common themes can be illustrated using these divisions.
Of course, the individual lies somewhere between these personality types,
each of us demonstrating varying degrees of hysteria, depression and obsessional
or schizoid character traits.
Each individual is unique and as such cannot be categorised, each of us has
developed a particular framework for understanding our world, our own set of
coping strategies, our own fears and hurts.
Similarly
philosophers, analysts and therapists have developed their own frameworks to
explain and dissect the human diversity they see around them. Some providing
useful tools with practical applications; some others perhaps somewhat
unhelpfully categorising, reframing or renaming previous ideas with an air of
elitism - the implication being that only those chosen few trained in
their exclusive dogma can possibly understand the human dilemma.
Now and
again an often simple idea can shed new light on our knowledge of psychotherapy
giving new depths to our understanding and unexpected enlightenment to the
student of human emotions - even though the perception of this idea, the
interpretation of the 'disciple' may not accord entirely with the intended
meaning of it's original exponent. Thus my understanding of object relations may
not concur with the intention of Klein or Fairbairn and my perception of 'True
and false self' may not coincide with Winnicott's view.
However,
just as in Zen philosophy -
"A
comment to a koan rises naturally from the inner state on the occasion of
realisation, and is not something that has to be said in the wake of someone
else. Even when a verse is employed by which an ancient expressed this state, it
is not now an ancient verse, but one's own." (Imai Fukuzan 1925).
- so my
viewpoint, my realisation, though personal, has a validity of it's own.
It is
with this proviso in mind that I present my perception of the emotional world of
some of the patients and young people whom I have worked with, and indeed of my
own.
These
pages are a product of the workshops that I have held with teachers, social
workers and those working with young people. There is a need for such a
continuing dialogue to take place and to include parents, families and youth.
It is with this feeling in mind - of the ‘wider’ audience that I
have attempted to ‘keep it simple’.
A very
small minority of people ever talk to a psychotherapist and those who do spend
precious few hours doing so - a few hours in what may be a lifetime of distress.
Too little succour spread too thinly over too much pain. Winnicott spoke of his
task as a psychotherapist being
“ ... The perpetual job of covering naked souls”.
And it is indeed a ‘perpetual job’ - naked souls cannot be covered over
night .. it does take precious time.
It is
thus essential that those individuals whom young people may meet on a day to day
basis, people who can impinge on their lives, little by little every day,
whether professional contacts or
not, should be armed with the tools to begin to alleviate their emotional pain.
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Part 1 - Inner Worlds
"Reflections"
"
...... A man in a big department store sees someone in the distance approaching
and looking at him with interest.
He cannot quite place who it is although there is something familiar.
Coming closer he finds himself reflected in a large mirror. ... Then he smiles...."
(T.Leggett
; 1978)
Knowing ourselves involves recognising ourselves
in someone else. Those around us act as mirrors in whom we see reflections of
our behaviour, our feelings and our hurts.
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